Being a grown up sucks

Hello blogosphere.

I've been coming to this realization steadily since I graduated college in 2007: being an adult sucks. It seems like my life revolves around work. But work for what? Everyday rolls into the next. There is the occasional distraction from work: hiking, dinner with friends, a run, phone calls to loved ones, etc. By and large work and, by extension life, is a grind. Maybe it's different when you have a family -- people that depend on your paycheck for their existence. I acknowledge and appreciate that having the ability to ask and think about this is a huge privilege.

I have a job that is good: I enjoy most days; it's work that I find important and meaningful; I don't dread going to work. Nevertheless I feel a huge pit in my stomach about what I'm doing with my life. I work because I need money to live. I wish there was a better way where I could have more flexibility; work when I want to to and sleep in when I want. Instead I feel that work becomes a prison. I have money but not time to travel. During my time in college and afterwords, I was blessed to be able to travel and see various parts of the world. It scares me to think that I have precisely 80hrs of vacation over the course of the next year. Which is enough for a few long weekends and major holidays, but that's it. No two weeks to gallivant around.

In high school, adults critique us for having jobs in high school saying, "you have a job so you can have a car, and you have a car so you can go to work." I feel like that now. I have a car, cell phone, and a place to sleep so I can work and I work so I can have those things. Is this what the rest of my life is? A never ending cycles of bills, obligations, and paychecks? It's frightening.

On a brighter note: the longer and sunnier days are much appreciated.